Why Women Fake It

Men’s Fitness claims a woman’s inability to orgasm is due to two reasons. (Spoilt describes how faking orgasm feels for a woman.) Typically, both reasons lay the blame on the woman for her inability to orgasm and not on the more likely culprit – her selfish or clueless male partner.

Our recent sex poll found that up to 80% of women have trouble achieving an orgasm. What gives? Most likely, there’s one of two reasons she may not be having as much fun as she claims to be. Fix ’em — and you’ll both benefit. Read more

Faking Orgasms: How It Feels for a Woman

Every woman’s been there. After his several unsuccessful attempts at the Big O, it’s obvious that it’s just not going to happen. To get out of the situation without chafing and numbness (and save him embarrassment), many women resort to faking an orgasm just to get it over with. Spoilt describes how it feels for a woman.

Writing about orgasms is easy, especially about the ways and means orgasms don’t happen or why people have issues having orgasms. Lucrezia Magazine has given me the chance to put up an article about orgasms, that can be read here.

Articles like that don’t develop from thin air.

Faking orgasms is a part of my feminine life. It happens sometimes, and while I grew up thinking it was only a female thing, probably due to the common portrayals of faking in television and film, I never stopped to consider men, and how men can fake. But I don’t know how it feels when men fake orgasms, so I can only share how it feels when I do it. Read more

Why Simultaneous Orgasm Should NOT Be a Goal

Greta Christina explains why simultaneous orgasms should not be a sexual goal.

I’ve written before in this blog against one of our culture’s biggest ideals of sex: the ideal of spontaneity, the ideal that sexual desire should strike both (or all) partners at the same time, and that planning or scheduling sex is a boring, unromantic buzz-kill.

Today, I want to write about another romantic ideal of sex . . . and how it can fuck sex up.

I’m talking about the ideal of simultaneity.

In the standard romantic ideal of sex, sexual desire isn’t the only thing that strikes both partners at the same time. Sexual satisfaction does as well. There isn’t quite the same emphasis on precise simultaneous orgasm as there used to be . . . but there’s still the idea that both partners should be getting both aroused and satisfied on more or less the same timeline.

And while I have nothing against simultaneity as one sexual option among many, I have huge problems with it as an ideal, a superior model of sexual interaction that somehow promotes intimacy and romance better than any other model. Read more

The Clitoris Is Your Friend!

Sexpert Sarah Gibson explains the basics about the clitoris and clitoral stimulation.

These days thanks to the internet, sex education and… erm… movies, most guys know the whereabouts of the clitoris. But you just have to listen to Lily Allen’s latest track to realise that not everyone knows what to do with it! Below are some things that every man should know along with some tips for giving her the big O.

The Basics

Most of you will already be familiar with this but just in case… the clitoris is the female equivalent to the male penis. It has an abundance of nerve endings that make it the most erotically sensitive part of a woman’s body. For most women direct clitoral stimulation is the only way they will achieve orgasm. The clitoris increases in size and becomes ‘erect’ during sexual excitement – remind you of anything? But unlike the penis, after orgasm if stimulation is resumed multiple orgasms are possible.

Show and Tell

To make life more difficult for you, women differ in the way they like their clitoris to be stimulated! Read more

The Story of Ohhhhh!

Follow this Men’s Health pleasure map to find a woman’s five orgasmic hot spots.

Make her orgasm in 3 minutes
You may know where to find this sexual silver bullet, but it goes much deeper than you realised. “The clitoris is like the tip of an iceberg,” says Dr Hilda Hutcherson, professor of Obstetrics and Gynaecology at Columbia University and author of What Your Mother Never Told You about Sex (Penguin). “Like the penis it has a glans and shaft as well as ‘legs’ – erectile tissue that runs down either side of the vagina and towards the back of her thighs in a wishbone shape.” If you are just rubbing her on top you are missing out on stimulating these sensitive areas around and underneath.

How: “The Kivin method of oral sex gives 60% of women a faster and more intense orgasm because it stimulates more of the clitoris,” says registered sex therapist Dr Patti Britton, (www.askthesexcoach.com). “Most women climax after three minutes and all in under 12.” Ask her to lie on her back while you position yourself side-on between her legs. Put two fingers either side of her clitoris to raise and steady it and slowly sweep your tongue back and forth feeling for two tiny bumps on each side of the hood. Slowly increase your speed then using a finger from your free hand press into her perineum. As you feel her nearing orgasm, transfer your tongue from the side to the head of her clitoris. Read more

10 Signs You’re Not Satisfying Her

Are you sexually satisfying your wife or girlfriend? Men’s Health lists ten signs that you’re not pleasing her.

If your wife has turned into No-Nookie of the North, bitch goddess of the frozen tundra, the problem may be emotional rather than physical, according to recent Kinsey Institute research. The study also suggests that in any given month, nearly one-quarter of women will report some sexual distress.

“When a woman feels dissatisfied, it’s very rarely in one realm,” says Scott Haltzman, M.D., a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry and human behavior at Brown University. Here are some clues she’s not happy.

1. She Pulls Away from Your Children
“She may resist caring for the kids because she’s hoping you might notice that her needs aren’t being met,” says Haltzman. “What she’s doing is asking you to talk.”

2. The Credit-Card Bill is Higher
“Some women resort to shop therapy to fulfill themselves,” says Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D., author of Adultery, the Forgivable Sin.

3. She’s Gained Weight
“Women will over-compensate for the lack of sex by eating more to feed their sexual hunger,” says Eaker Weil. Read more

7 Sex Positions That Guarantee Her Orgasm

Cosmo unveils seven positions that have been custom designed by sex experts to help a woman reach an orgasm every single time. I’ve  “discovered” several of these positions on my own with the Down Dog being my favorite. (It’s also one of my favorite anal sex positions.) One that I haven’t tried though – the Criss Cross – looks interesting. Like the Down Dog, it’s a relaxed orgasm-inducing position.

When it’s a mind-blowing, bed-rattling orgasm you’re after, keeping it simple is absolutely key. Sure, wild, crazy, never-knew-my-body-could-bend-that-way booty keeps your lust life exciting, but if the goal of the moment is to break pleasure records, you have to stick to the basics. “Trying to accomplish complicated acrobatics distracts you from the sex itself, putting your focus on how you can contort yourself, rather than on just experiencing the sensations,” explains sex educator Dorian Solot, coauthor of I (Heart) Female Orgasm. “When you want to climax, the simplest positions are often also the best positions, and with a few modifications, you can make them even more orgasm inducing than they already are.” Don’t worry, we’d never leave you hanging. Here, Cosmo custom-designed some of the carnal classics to make sure you always hit the high notes. Read more