Greta Christina explains why simultaneous orgasms should not be a sexual goal.
I’ve written before in this blog against one of our culture’s biggest ideals of sex: the ideal of spontaneity, the ideal that sexual desire should strike both (or all) partners at the same time, and that planning or scheduling sex is a boring, unromantic buzz-kill.
Today, I want to write about another romantic ideal of sex . . . and how it can fuck sex up.
I’m talking about the ideal of simultaneity.
In the standard romantic ideal of sex, sexual desire isn’t the only thing that strikes both partners at the same time. Sexual satisfaction does as well. There isn’t quite the same emphasis on precise simultaneous orgasm as there used to be . . . but there’s still the idea that both partners should be getting both aroused and satisfied on more or less the same timeline.
And while I have nothing against simultaneity as one sexual option among many, I have huge problems with it as an ideal, a superior model of sexual interaction that somehow promotes intimacy and romance better than any other model. Read more