Irrumatio: Even Better Than Fellatio?

Irrumatio is actively thrusting the penis into the mouth of a partner. A distinction was once made between irrumatio and fellatio based on who is actively moving. Irrumatio meant to thrust the penis into the partner’s mouth; fellatio meant to move the head and mouth up-and-down around the penis, but this distinction has almost completely vanished in modern English.

Irrumatio gives a different experience to a man than when he is being fellated by a woman because he’s the one moving, he’s more tense and active, and he’s controlling his experience much more so than in the regular fellatio. What does a woman get out of irrumatio? As with any sex act, pleasing the partner is sometimes more important than deriving any innate pleasure from the act itself. Most woman are not going to “get off” on being still and having their mouths used in the same way as their vaginas. The benefit will largely be the knowledge that she is pleasing her partner.

In some cases, however, the woman may enjoy it just as much as the man does. Many women enjoy rough sex to one degree or another, and some women like to be “degraded” or dominated. There’s nothing wrong with that at all, so long as it is something you do consensually (and recognize that it has to be confined to the bedroom).

If you and your partner want to try this, lie down on your back with a pillow under your head. He should straddle you with his hands and knees so that his crotch is over your face, and his head is above yours. He should move around until he can easily fit his penis into your mouth. You should make your mouth wet and form a snug ring with her lips around his shaft. Basically, any position that works well for regular oral sex will work for irrumatio as long as it allows the man to move his hips.

In fellatio, the woman is the one who controls how fast and deep the penis goes into her mouth. In irrumatio, however, the man is the one who’s in control for the most part.  If you can learn to overcome your gag reflex, then irrumatio will become a bit easier for you. Deep throat is a form of oral sex in which the entire length of the erect penis is taken into the mouth. If you can’t do that and want to learn how, read my tutorial Deep Throat: What It Is and How to Do It.

You can also use the Stopper Technique to maintain some control over the depth of his thrusts. Wrap one hand around his lower shaft, to use as a stopper, allowing only as much of his penis into your mouth as you’re comfortable with. If your hand is at the base, this also adds a pleasurable pressure against his body. You can use your  hand to squeeze and stroke the lower part of his penis as the top part slides in and out, moving the hand down to the base as the penis slides in.

When he begins thrusting, he should slide his penis in and out with his hips, without moving his knees or using his hands. He can add things like rocking his pelvis from side to side or circularly (called “grinding”), or you can rock your head from side to side, or move it up and back to meet his strokes, or use your tongue if you like.

It is important that he start out slowly, and work his way up in terms of speed and depth. You should find some way to let your partner know when he’s going too deep, especially if your head is resting against something that doesn’t allow you to pull back. Agree to a signal before you get started. Don’t plan on using verbal communication because you’ll have a penis in your mouth and may not be able to speak in time. Using your hands to tap him on his leg (or wherever) when he starts getting too deep is a good idea. If you are the man, it is very important that you stop the instant your partner indicates that something is wrong, The more you do this, the more “in tune” you’ll be with your partner, and you’ll gradually develop the ability to sense when it is becoming too much for her.

Irrumatio is another sex act that can be added to your sexual repertoire and enjoyed as you feel the desire to do it. Some women can get into this second kind of fellatio while others don’t like it. A frequent complaint is that the woman feels abused, that she has no control and the man thrusts too deeply or violently, causing gagging, fear, or other troubles. This needn’t happen if the couple can talk freely and respect their own and each other’s wants and needs.

All women know that men LOVE oral sex, but not all women know how to do it properly. Giving good fellatio is NOT just about opening your mouth and bobbing up and down. To find out what every woman needs to know about giving her man oral pleasure, click here!