5 Bizarre Sex Tips

Nicole McEwen reveals five things that DON’T turn her on. Me either (except number three sometimes).

Women have sex in lots of ways… with strange partners, strange toys and in strange settings.

Here are 5 sex acts that may rev some women’s engines, but leave mine stalled:

Wearing furries is a perfectly natural sex activity. Call me crazy, but I’ve never had any fantasies about knocking boots with a Bengal tiger, hooting owl or grizzly bear. Though if a sexed-up bear tried to get in my pants, I just may seduce him long enough to skin his hide and make myself a nifty vest. Read more

What’s It Like to Have a Penis?

Probably every woman has wondered what it’s like to have a penis. At Good Vibrations Magazine, John Thursday reveals the true penis story.

What’s it like to have a penis? I get asked that a lot, and not always by women.

There’s no single answer. My relationship with my dangling self, like all healthy relationships, has evolved over time. We have grown and changed together, staying up late, swapping stories.

I must say it is undeniably fun to have a penis. It’s like walking around with your own amusement park ride.

But the relationship is not entirely fluid. Having survived 34 years so far I can attest to three distinct phases; and so, three distinct rides. Read more

A Guide to Numerical Sex Positions

XKCD presents a guide to  numerical sex positions, from 69 to 34.

4 Over-Rated Places to Have Sex

From sex on the beach to sex on the kitchen table, Rich Santos looks at four over-rated places to have sex.

I figure that any location with a drink named after it (Sex on the Beach) must be a great place to try it out. But I can disprove any theory that sex in certain “traditional” hot spots is good. Here is my reasoning:

Sex on the Beach

Ever since Jaws, I’ve feared the ocean. The sea is very romantic, but I would be too nervous the entire time. Jaws proved in that first scene of the movie-like Jason from Friday the 13th-that he won’t put up with bad behavior like pot-smoking or sex. Aside from Jaws, there are all sorts of other creatures out there. While walking in the ocean I’ve stepped on some unidentified crustaceous creatures and we’ve both scuttled along away from one another in fear.

Maybe it’s safer on shore? No way– because sand gets into everything. It has a mind of its own. Sand makes sex uncomfortable and even painful. My solution is to try to get a place by the beach and do it out on the porch where you can see and hear the waves: Sex at the beach, but not on the beach. Read more

Couple Trapped in Kama Sutra Position Hospitalized

A couple attempting “the deckchair” sex position from the Kama Sutra had to call paramedics after she spasmed, trapping her husband inside her.

A kinky couple were rushed to hospital after getting trapped in a position from the Kama Sutra sex manual.

Horrified Ivan Sokolov, 56, found he was stuck fast when his wife Valentina 51, had a muscle spasm as they romped in a position known as the “deck chair”.

After failing for an hour to free themselves the red-faced couple dialled paramedics in Kalhuga, central Russia, for help. Read more

Sex Tips for People Who Hate Their Spouse

NewsMutiny offers sex tips for a large, but neglected audience: people who hate their spouse.

In the spirit of all those awful fashion magazines like Vogue and Cosmo that customarily include one page of rehashed sex tips somewhere inside their monthly publication of 850 pages of advertisements, below are a number of highly useful sex tips for people who couldn’t care less:

• Don’t push it – If your wife is anything like mine and has a fuck buddy she spares little to no effort in concealing, feel free to insist upon some modicum of discretion – like taking it a motel, or at least keeping their elephantine rutting to a minimum while you’re trying to watch the god damn game. Read more

The 10 Most Bizarre Sex Laws in America

Find out where you can’t have sex with Satan, but can have sex with an animal – unless you pay for it – at The Frisky.

Laws are supposed to protects us, but when the government decides to get in our pants, some crazy stuff goes down!  Here are some actual sex laws truly for the record books!

1. In Bakersfield, California, if you’re going to have sex with Satan, you’ve gotta use a condom. And definitely come up with a safe word! Read more