While it still remains taboo in some circles, heterosexual anal sex seems to be gaining in popularity, and some couples are even exploring male anal penetration by the female partner, a sexual practice known as Bend Over Boyfriend (BOB) or pegging. These days more and more men are becoming interested in anal pleasure and comfortable with the idea of letting their female partners take control in bed.
If you’ve decided to make your boyfriend’s or husband’s strap-on fantasies come true, you need to get the right equipment: a sturdy strap-on dildo and a reliable harness to hold it in place. When starting out, it’s best to choose a dildo on the smaller side, for comfort’s sake. A dildo of 5 to 6 inches in length and 1 to 1.5 inches in diameter should be an adequate size for your first strap-on. Choose a dildo that has a flange at the base that will secure it in a harness, and buy a sturdy harness with adjustable straps, preferably one of leather, vinyl, or other strong material.
Some dildos have an upward curve or special shape designed to stimulate the prostate. The prostate gland is located between the wall of the rectum and the bladder and is about the size of a walnut. It is the male equivalent of a woman’s G-spot, and stimulating it can greatly increase the intensity of the man’s orgasm, and sometimes the force or quantity of his ejaculation. While prostate stimulation can be achieved with a standard dildo, having the angle built in makes it that much easier to hit your man’s hot spot.
Once you have your strap-on firmly in place, apply a generous amount of water-based lubricant to the head and shaft of the dildo and to his anus. You may even want to massage the lube into his hole with a finger or two to help relax his sphincter. If you really want to dominate your boyfriend, make him apply the lube to your dildo and his anus himself.
Once you’re all lubed up, steady the dildo with one hand and place the head squarely against his anus. The most comfortable position for anal sex is with him lying face up with a pillow under the small of his back and his legs pulled up. You then enter him from on top, in a missionary-style position. In this position, you can kiss him, squeeze his nipples or stroke his penis. However, many couples like having the man bend over something that is less than waist height – a table, a chair, the bed, etc. – or take it doggy-style because these are more submissive postures.
Keeping a grip on the shaft of your dildo, guide the head directly into his anus and gently push it inside him. Instruct him to bear down as if going to the bathroom while you do this, to open up his sphincter muscles. Once the head of the dildo disappears (or the dildo enters into him about an inch or two), pause and let him get used to the feeling of having something up there. Then place your hands on his hips and begin pushing forward steadily until the dildo is all the way in. Take a couple of breaths and let his sphincter adjust and relax. Pull part way out slowly and push back in. Pull out, push in. Continue doing this, increasing your speed and force as you go.
Essentially what you are doing is massaging his prostate gland. Not only will he enjoy this, but it will also make his penis start dripping, and he may even ejaculate without direct penile stimulation. You can increase the stimulation by exerting pressure on the dildo in the direction of the prostate so that the shaft rubs more firmly against it. Also, concentrating your thrusting motions in short, rapid movements will provide more stimulation against that area.
Keep a steady rhythm going, but pay attention to the intensity of his moans and groans, the speed of his breathing, and his body’s actions. Communication is important, so be sure he lets you know what he wants and tells you if he feels any discomfort. Though you may be afraid of hurting him, if he’s begging you to pound him and pushing himself back onto your dildo, it’s a sign to let yourself go. You may find yourself surprised at how turned on you get when you allow yourself to enjoy the feeling of being in control.
Beyond male anal pleasure, there is a lot to explore in the area of role reversals with BOB. It’s a chance to explore the ways you feel – masculine and feminine, bottom and top – and a chance to relate to your partner in a completely different way. Bend Over Boyfriend is a sexual practice that comes with deep potential for personal growth and really hot sex!
If you’re a woman who is turned on by the idea of pegging your man, but he’s not so eager, try the tips in my post Bend Over Boyfriend: How to Make HIM Want Anal Sex. You may be shopping together for a strap-on sooner than you think!
Find out how to get the FREE course “5 Quick and Easy Ways To Spice Up Your Lovemaking Starting Immediately” by OPRAH! love expert Michael Webb. Read my review of the two best courses I’ve found for improving your sex life, by going to my blog Hot Sex.
Filed under: Anal Sex, Sexual Relationships | Tagged: bend over boyfriend, pegging, strap-on sex
I have always been fascinated by sex and relationships. My blog is where I share advice, experiences, and news about the always fascinating topic of sex. I detail my sexual history and preferences in my post 

For those who may have not tried this be assured many men really desire it and it is not because they have homosexual tendencies or are secretly gay. It is simply that the feelnig is fantastic. Also the relinquishment of control to your female partner is very empowering for them. Above the intensity of male orgasm is much ehnhanced and the extent of ejaculation often much more than in standard sexul acts – try it !!
For me there was a strange feeling of real power when I looked down for the first time and saw a nice cock jutting out from between my legs. I surprised my man by making him suck my “cock” before I fucked him. It was so hot. He was also surprised when he climaxed with touching himself. He said that the sight of me fucking him, the feelings in his ass, and watching my tits bounce were all too much for him and he just came and came. I climaxed also from the power thing and the stimulation of the base of the dildo on my clit when I pounded into him. I totally recommend this if he has any interest in anal play at all.
This is an excellent article. One of the things I remember when i tried this with an ex was how I didn’t really have a good way to tell what was going on “down there.” Without the sense of touch to tell me how hard or soft I was doing things, I started out really nervous about hurting him. A step by step set of instructions like the ones above would have helped. Of course, with his direction I got into it eventually and we had a GREAT time.
A good rule of thumb is to go slow and easy until he lets you know (one way or another) that he wants you to go hard and fast.
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Excellent Post.
I find that starting with some fingering is a great way to get things going, and when she inserts her finger in your anus you will feel a sense of connection to her that you could have never imagined until you do this.
My favorite position is that modified missionary position with the pillow, but I love to finish lying on my stomach, with her pressing her body against my back, incredible!
I agree that “fingers first” is a good idea. In fact, all of the steps in my post 10 Steps to Great First-Time Anal Sex apply to Bend Over Boyfriend. I would further recommend doing a prostate massage before moving on to inserting a dildo to get your man comfortable with anal penetration.
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Nice article, and I’m with you 100%. As a straight married couple, strap-on play has been a part of playtime for a few years. There is a freaky feeling when Mrs Kink orgasms while taking me… quite the role reversal. I also think that she’s surprised every time I “beg” for more, by moving backwards into her as you accurately describe. Thumbs up from us. =)
“Bend Over Boyfriend” is sure to bring out some surprising feelings and sensations in both partners.
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[...] These days more and more men are becoming interested in anal pleasure and comfortable with the idea of letting their female partners take control in bed, and some couples are even exploring male anal penetration by the female partner, a sexual practice known as Bend Over Boyfriend (BOB) or pegging. If you have never tried (or even heard of) this sexual practice, read my tutorial How to Bend Over Your Boyfriend and Make Him Like It. [...]
[...] These days more and more men are becoming interested in anal pleasure and comfortable with the idea of letting their female partners take control in bed, and some couples are even exploring male anal penetration by the female partner, a sexual practice known as Bend Over Boyfriend (BOB) or pegging. If you have never tried (or even heard of) this sexual practice, read my tutorial How to Bend Over Your Boyfriend and Make Him Like It. [...]
[...] These days more and more men are becoming interested in anal pleasure and comfortable with the idea of letting their female partners take control in bed, and some couples are even exploring male anal penetration by the female partner, a sexual practice known as Bend Over Boyfriend (BOB) or pegging. If you have never tried (or even heard of) this sexual practice, read my tutorial How to Bend Over Your Boyfriend and Make Him Like It. [...]
This is great we where doing it for years and it did not have a name. My wife felt so empowered when she began to make love to me and it made our relationship even more equal and fun
It’s really too bad that so many men still think it’s ‘gay’ to receive any sort of anal play from their girlfriends/wives. If you haven’t tried it you should, after that you can decide if you’re into it or not.
For women, using a strap-on dildo on their partner may not be a turn on at all, they may even be completely turned off by the idea.
It such a good article and I wish that more men would read it and for that matter, more women, so they could bring up the concept to their male counterparts.
my husband and i just read this article and decided to try it. we have been trying to heat up the bedroom for sometime now do to the fact that we have 2 young children and its hard to find anytime for eachother.
it was so empowering and amazing to watch him scream and climax without any penis stimulation was amazing and made me climax. i love having the power and making him beg for me! the movies are also good and you can find many helpful hints about how to properly penetrate your partners booty. i love it! and it has made us so much closer and it’s just amazing! get past the taboo strap one on you would be amazed at the feeling it brings to you.
I’m glad to hear that you had such a great time experimenting with anal play.. A lot of men have no idea that they can climax without penile stimulation, but they can, and, as you say, we women can get our own enjoyment from penetrating our partners.
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I started anal play with my hubby many years ago and worked him up slowly in size. He can now take fisting rather easy and loves it. Heheheheh and the baseball bat is “not really that big feeling becuz it is so smooth” <– those are HIS words :)
kelli
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[...] How to Bend Over Your Boyfriend and Make Him Like It These days more and more men are becoming interested in anal pleasure and comfortable with the idea of letting their female partners take control in bed. [...]
The first time I put a finger up ther. It was a bit pain full. But in the shower relaxed, I did it again, boy what a rush. I then asked my wife, who was more than happy to do it. She had wanted to but was unsure of my reaction. Well at least once a week I get pegged and boy do I look forward to it. I believe tonight is the night. :)
I’ll bet your wife looks forward to it, too.
my girlfriend and i are really into this. we’re at the point where shes now using a dildo bigger than what i’m packing lol! we’ve started playing out fantasies, i love dressing up in those sexy outfits and i’ve got my own boobs too, she loves it. almost every night its i’ll do u if u peg me. some people may think its weird but we get so much pleasure out of it
Glad to hear you’re both having fun. The two of you are really exploring the role reversal aspect of Bend Over Boyfriend.
We’re definately enjoying it, tho i know my g/f would never dress up like a bloke. Shes taking more and more control now and its now to the point where nearly every time we’re in bed i’m dressed up and shes doing me
WOW, Wife just bought a strap on, I was a bit timid about it, but OMG what an Orgasm we both had!!
Amazing, isn’t it, Bill? Readers, if you haven’t tried this yet, don’t waste any more time. Bend Over Boyfriend can make you reconsider everything you thought you knew about sex.
my gf at the time told me that she wanted to fuck me with a strap-on. we bought a realistic dildo, a harness, and the dvd bend over boyfriend. we watched the video first then she grabed the toy and went into the restroom to put it on. when she came out, iwas suprised on how sexy she looked with it on. she had me give her a bj before she took me. wow, what a rush. i recomend guys to try this….
Watching the Bend Over Boyfriend video together beforehand is a good idea.
I would love to see your take on an article titled “How to get your Girlfriend to Bend you over” I’m having some trouble barking up that tree. We’ve talked about it but she gets weirded out.
Interesting. I didn’t need any persuading, but I’ll talk to some girlfriends and get their feedback.
Awesome : ) By the way love your site!
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[...] Posted on March 11, 2009 by Svetlana Ivanova Anonymous at AlterNet explains why he agreed to be a bend-over boyfriend. His first time didn’t go so well, but the second… The first time my girlfriend fucked [...]