How to Make Her Want Anal Sex

Do you want to have anal sex with your wife or girlfriend, but are uncertain about her reaction? Many women are curious about anal sex, but are scared about comfort and safety issues. Some women who are unwilling to try anal sex with their current partner may have had a bad experience with an impatient or ignorant lover in the past. That’s why I don’t recommend asking a woman for anal sex without some careful preparation. Instead of asking her to try anal sex, it’s better to make her want anal sex.

Anal sex can be very pleasurable for women because the rectum shares a wall with the vagina, and the sexual nerves are actually closer on that side, which makes the sensation unique, stronger and quite possibly orgasmic. My post Anal Sex from a Female Perspective describes what anal sex feels like for a woman.  I am a firm believer that once a woman experiences the sensual pleasure that anal play can bring, she’ll allow you to explore the possibilities a little further, and, given sufficient time and patience, will eventually allow you to take it to the ultimate step of full anal penetration.

The key to the approach I recommend is to “train” her to associate anal sensations with sexual pleasure. The next time you’re going down on her (twice as many women orgasm from oral sex as from intercourse), move your hands around and cup her butt cheeks, squeeze and massage them, and then let your finger(s) wander into her crack a little bit. Get her to pull her legs back towards her head (so you can have better access to her vagina), and lightly bite/nibble around her butt in places you can reach, and run your tongue as close to her crack as you can comfortably (for you and her).

You must keep your eyes and ears open during this to gauge her response. If she moans a little louder, squirms a little bit more, or provides some other positive feedback, then go on to the next step. If she jerks away or gives you a negative reaction, don’t press the issue. Just try again the next time and hope for a more positive reaction.

If you’ve gotten your positive feedback, and are confident about proceeding, lube up a finger and slide it down into the crack of her butt and over her anus (this assumes she’s pulling her legs back for easy access). Don’t let it linger there. Just run it right over the anus slowly and see how she responds. Again, judge her reaction to decide whether or not you should proceed.

If you get another favorable reaction, try it again and this time, let your finger linger there, and perhaps perform some light massage on the anus, especially as you are performing cunnilingus on her. Her nerve endings will already be lit up down there, and everything in that area is interconnected anyway. As long as she doesn’t think you’re about to invade, you should get a noticeable increase in positive feedback.

Assuming you are successful, put a little lube on your finger and slowly, with circular motions, stroke the outside of her opening. Then gradually insert your finger inside the anus. Do not move it at first. Just allow her to enjoy the sensation of fullness in the anus.

Slowly insert the finger up to the end and make circular motions with the whole wrist, without moving the finger in and out. These motions will be felt in the vagina. While you’re doing this, do something else, such kiss her breasts or stimulate her clitoris. Try to make her experience pleasurable. A woman who enjoys anal foreplay will eventually begin to give anal penetration some serious thought.

Getting her highly aroused goes a long way toward reducing inhibitions. If you take advantage of her uninhibited state, you can probably progress to the point where she’ll allow you to penetrate her anus with a finger, then two, and maybe even proceed to the point of using a small sex toy. The key here is to make sure that you don’t rush things. If you take your time, and let her get comfortable with the idea of anal play, you should eventually reach the point where she’ll seriously consider allowing you to try full anal penetration with your penis.

When she does, be sure to follow the 10 Steps to Great First-Time Anal Sex unless you want the first time to be the last time. A bad experience can turn her off to anal sex altogether – at least with you. On the other hand, anal sex can be one of the most erotic and satisfying sexual practices a woman can enjoy. It’s a different, tighter sensation than vaginal sex, and, if the clitoris and/or vagina are stimulated while you’re inside her, it can take her to another sexual realm.

My book Anal Sex Secrets is a guide to great anal sex for both anal sex beginners and for couples who are searching for new things to try. To find out more about it, click here.

48 Responses

  1. [...] For those couples trying anal sex for the first time, choosing the best position may make the difference between a painful or pleasurable experience. If you want to try anal sex with your wife or girlfriend, but are uncertain of her reaction, try the approach I recommend in How to Make Her Want Anal Sex. [...]

  2. [...] Anal sex is enjoyable for men because the tight anal sphincter rings provide strong sensations to a thrusting penis. Generally, for women, the pleasure derived from anal intercourse is due to the shared nerve endings located between the rectal wall and the vagina, and/or from indirect stimulation of the G-spot. The anus contains many nerves as well, which can also react in a pleasurable manner when excited. My post Anal Sex from a Female Perspective describes what anal sex feels like for a woman. If you want to try anal sex with your wife or girlfriend, but are uncertain of her reaction, use the approach I recommend in How to Make Her Want Anal Sex. [...]

  3. I HAVE TRIED BUT WAS VERY RELUCTANT WILLING TO TRY AGAIN FOLLOWING THE STEPS YOU RECOMMEND

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  10. Excellent advice and very well written. Anyone trying anal for the first time should read this first! Your 10 steps was great as well. Thanks for sharing!

  11. [...] Sex Advice How to Make Her Want Anal Sex [...]

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  13. [...] latest article is “How to Make Her Want Anal Sex” linked from Sugasm #141, and is a must read for couples who want to explore anal play for [...]

  14. [...] Advice How to Make Her Want Anal Sex Play Safe The Power of Suggestion- And How It Helps You Meet [...]

  15. [...] Advice How to Make Her Want Anal Sex Play Safe The Power of Suggestion- And How It Helps You Meet [...]

  16. [...] Advice How to Make Her Want Anal Sex Play Safe The Power of Suggestion- And How It Helps You Meet [...]

  17. [...] Advice How to Make Her Want Anal Sex Play Safe The Power of Suggestion- And How It Helps You Meet [...]

  18. [...] Advice How to Make Her Want Anal Sex Play Safe The Power of Suggestion- And How It Helps You Meet [...]

  19. [...] Advice How to Make Her Want Anal Sex Play Safe The Power of Suggestion- And How It Helps You Meet [...]

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  21. [...] Advice How to Make Her Want Anal Sex Play Safe The Power of Suggestion- And How It Helps You Meet [...]

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  23. [...] Advice How to Make Her Want Anal Sex Play Safe The Power of Suggestion- And How It Helps You Meet [...]

  24. [...] Advice How to Make Her Want Anal Sex Play Safe The Power of Suggestion- And How It Helps You Meet [...]

  25. [...] Advice How to Make Her Want Anal Sex Play Safe The Power of Suggestion- And How It Helps You Meet [...]

  26. [...] Advice How to Make Her Want Anal Sex Play Safe The Power of Suggestion- And How It Helps You Meet [...]

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  29. [...] Advice How to Make Her Want Anal Sex Play Safe The Power of Suggestion- And How It Helps You Meet [...]

  30. Will somebody please write an article about how to make HIM want anal sex? I’m a pro domme and I get lots of male clients coming to me for strap-on sex, but I can’t seem to convince the other men in my life to go for it.

  31. I’ll do a post soon about how I get men to “bend over,” but it’s not that different from persuading a woman: start “small” and work your way up.

  32. I say if she dont like it slam that ass more

  33. And men wonder why women are reluctant to try anal sex.

  34. [...] Generally, for women, the pleasure derived from anal intercourse is due to the shared nerve endings located between the rectal wall and the vagina, and/or from indirect stimulation of the G-spot. The anus contains many nerves as well, which can also react in a pleasurable manner when excited. My post Anal Sex from a Female Perspective describes what anal sex feels like for a woman. If you want to try anal sex with your wife or girlfriend, but are uncertain of her reaction, use the approach I recommend in How to Make Her Want Anal Sex. [...]

  35. [...] Advice How to Make Her Want Anal Sex Play Safe The Power of Suggestion- And How It Helps You Meet [...]

  36. [...] your feminine wiles to change his mind. The approach I recommend is similar to the one in my post How to Make Her Want Anal Sex except tailored for the male body. You will train” him to associate anal sensations with sexual [...]

  37. [...] patience and knowledge. Where can you get this knowledge on making her want anal sex? Thats where Sex Secrets comes into [...]

  38. [...] How to Make Her Want Anal Sex Do you want to have anal sex with your wife or girlfriend, but are uncertain about her reaction? [...]

  39. [...] Advice How to Make Her Want Anal Sex Play Safe The Power of Suggestion- And How It Helps You Meet [...]

  40. WTF is wrong with you dumb men!!! ANAL is for gay guys a woman should never have to do anal as far as I see it you are all gay!!! Switch to men you catch aids! does anyone pay attention you pigs how did aids come to be gay guys to scared to come out and sleeping with men!!! And then woman and contracting Aids a woman has a vagina for a reason you have dicks for a reason!

  41. This is an example of the kind of ignorance out there. It’s too bad that so many people know so little about sex.

  42. I have a very larg penis 12″ inch. And I don’t know if she is going to allow me put my larg penis in her anus…. And secondly it is good for a virgin girl to have sex for the first time with huge penis or a smaller one?

  43. You don’t have a twelve=inch penis.

  44. hey im a guy problem is… i got my girl 2 agree and we tried n she said never agan.. i know what i did wrong i tried going in 2 eurly.. but question is can i get her 2 try agan? n if so how.. n trust me i know n tried alot but no results i just want a womans take on it… n shes done anal on me so i know how it goes n any guy that says im gay just leave me alone just cause u do that means ur open with ur sexuality n know ur eather gay or not n im not.. n sorry 2 post that but alot of bs from guys

  45. Let me explain something that might be hard for you to understand. You’re a sexual being. 98% of women do not feel this way, not in the least. There is no chance this would EVER work. Anal sex takes a lot of trust and an extreme amount of conversation. Lightly stroking a woman’s anus will most likely excite her, and may even allow you to try to penetrate her. However, anal sex needs to be discussed well in advance, as unless you have an ant penis, he anus will need to be relaxed. I recommend a 1/2 in plug to start, because that’s worked for me literally hundreds of times. If her anus is not accustomed to being entered it will be EXTREMELY painful for her. She won’t let you get very far, no matter how ready she is. (Unless she loves you beyond belief and toughs it out) Point is, from a male porn model; this article is useless. The ideas she gave you will get you far, but you’ll have to stay on the “toy” part for months, and may never get to put the plug in. What she’s done is convinced you to give your gf or wife a better orgasm, with no return. Put your finger in her butt. Don’t turn your wrist, wiggle your finger back and forth, but do not go in and out. She’s right there. Do this more or less indefinitely until you convince her the toy will make it more pleasurable for the both of you. Eventually you might be able to talk her into it. Good luck, because if she doesn’t like anal, she never will. Please stop misleading people on sexuality. Is life not hard enough?

  46. I’ve made all these points in other articles, including one I linked to in this article. Many women enjoy anal sex. I am definitely not “misleading” anyone.

  47. […] Advice How to Make Her Want Anal Sex Play Safe The Power of Suggestion- And How It Helps You Meet […]

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