Of MILF and Men

Em & Lo discuss the sexy mom phenomenon—is it hot or not?

As two sex writers on the brink of breeding, we sometimes foresee a gloomy future—will people really take sex advice from two moms? But then we comfort ourselves with the knowledge that we live in a glorious era in which motherhood has become perversely conflated with bodaciousness: It’s the age of the MILF, or, to put it more crassly, the Mom I’d Like to Fuck—an acronym at once repulsive and appealing. The MILF is Stacy’s Mom. She’s the lady in the Strippercize class. She dresses like a Jersey mob wife, her eye tilted into a perpetual wink. Is she our future?

The evidence surrounds us, from the 25,000-plus MILF-branded mugs and tees on Café Press to a rash of hot-mama books (The Hot Mom’s Handbook, Confessions of a Naughty Mommy, The MILF Anthology), television shows (Desperate Housewives, The Real Housewives of Orange County, the forthcoming contest “Hottest Mom in America,” and a pilot in development called MILF & Cookies), and, of course, a concomitant porn genre (though the majority of these films simply feature women in their late twenties or early thirties—dinosaurs in the porn biz—defiling baby-faced “pool boys” and “grocery clerks”).

How exactly did a once-taboo erotic fetish become a widespread, culturally sanctioned ideal, a perverse mix of branding and empowerment? After all, a hot mom used to be a tragedy, whether in the literal sense (Oedipus’ Mom-I’m-Fated-to-Fuck, Jocasta) or in the bittersweet Mrs. Robinson sense (“Oh, God. Oh, let me out,” begs Benjamin Braddock). Alternately, it was an insult: “Oh, yeah? That’s not what your mama said last night.” A hot mom was by definition a bad mom. Read more

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