Ten Tips for Enjoyable Orgasms

In observance of National Orgasm Day (July 31), sex and relationship psychologist Dr. Petra Boynton gives ten tips for enjoyable orgasms. Here’s just one that, if followed, could relieve a lot of couples’ performance anxiety.

Orgasms don’t have to happen in any set order
We have the mistaken view that straight sex goes something like this. A bit of kissing, some ‘foreplay’, she comes first (preferably with a lot of noise, some ejaculation and more than one orgasm), then he comes in pints. For gay or lesbian sex there’s the myth that a same-sex partner will automatically know what feels right for you – but even here people still tend to stick to the same kind of sexual script.

There is no reason why sex has to end in orgasm – particularly not a guy’s orgasm. Often men have problems with premature ejaculation because they’re trying to hang on until their partner’s come all over the place.

You could think about a guy coming first, or perhaps not at all. Or a woman having an orgasm through oral sex or masturbation on her own while her partner watches before penetrative sex and followed by her playing with a sex toy. Or perhaps one person can just decide to pleasure their partner but opt not to have an orgasm themselves on this occasion. Read more

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