“My New Girlfriend Has Disconcerting Sexual Practices”

A reader of The Times asks Dr Thomas Stuttaford and Suzi Godson the following question: “My new girlfriend has disconcerting sexual practices such as rubbing her clitoris during sex and not allowing me to caress her breasts. Is it me or her?”

It’s you, says Dr. Stuttaford:

… It is interesting, no more than that, that you find it disconcerting that your new girlfriend should masturbate during sex. This is a common practice. Many women don’t have an orgasm as the result of penetrative sex alone, especially as most men climax earlier than either they or their partner would like. In all probability your girlfriend is taking steps to make certain that she has an orgasm and that it coincides with yours. Her actions don’t imply that you are in any way inadequate. The perfect timing she strives for enhances her pleasure; sharing an orgasm seems to be more important for women than for men.

Suzi Godson is even blunter.

… Your new girlfriend rubs her clitoris during sex because it feels good and makes an orgasm a probability, rather than a possibility. She does it to herself because previous sexual partners have failed to volunteer this essential stimulation and she presumes that you cannot be relied on either. There is a very simple solution if you find this disconcerting: get down there and do it for her. Use your tongue, use your fingers, use plenty of lube and don’t stop until she has an orgasm. When it comes to sex, actions speak louder than words, and consistency, as opposed to 30 seconds of conscience-cleansing cunnilingus, will send your stock soaring.

To read their full responses to this reader’s question, click here.

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